Gone Fishing

It's the end of the month. The weekend is upon us. I'm going fishing. Have a great weekend everyone!

Passing Time

Just kidding! What's going on with everyone? I am so bored here at work that I was caught by a co-worker chewing on my Hawaiian hula girl statue. When I jerked it out of my mouth her dress ripped off. Oh well for a bobble head she's a beauty. We were asked to do overtime for the final sales push here through the end of the month. With traffic the way it is it doesn't really affect me that much. I usually stay late anyways. Only difference is I get paid for it now. I hit quota couple of days ago and the rest of the month is gravy. Trust me for all the potatoes that I have been eating lately it will be nice to have some gravy. If you haven't already check out my web site I put pictures of my sisters picking their noses and doing various and assorted unladylike things. http://jaredsikes.com........................... There they go, ha, for those of you still with us the story continues. Today I spoke with a jewelry designer, a country singer, and a porn host. What do you get when you put all three together. Sorry no punchline it just sounded like a lead in to a joke somehow. Website of the day. http://www.mulletsgalore.com/Did you join the Mullitia? I have no idea what that website is about so don't hold me liable for it's content. I want everyone to tell me what they are going to dress up for Halloween this year. I am going to guess and you can tell me if I was close. You have to be honest. Mom will dress up as Dolly Pardon. Don't ask why! Whitney and Reme will Dress up as boys, obvious and Nathan will be sporting a mullet. Doug will be Tom Selek. Jenni will be Cortney Cox. I have to be nice she will make me sleep on the couch. Tad's family will be the brady bunch. Bella will be a zombie princess. She can't be a princess every year. Grandma and Grandpa won't dress up. Grandpa might dress up as a greasy mechanic. Still waiting on the bean recipe! Don't worry if your picking your nose right now that means that this was at least distracting. But you should quit, it's rather disgusting.

Bean Sprout : A Grandfather Plants a Seed.

OK, so I've been wanting to make beans for some time now. Let's do it. Jenni's at the bar working late so Bojangles and I have a date. You must know I have never made beans before. Don't get me wrong I've been so "full of beans" before I could have competed in the Guinness Book of World Records. They say if you soak them longer you get less flatulence. What the H-E double hockey sticks kind of CRAPO is this Brain Dead jargon. OK family, with me now "Beans, Beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat the more" you get the idea. I soaked them all night and all day. They look like your fingers from swimming at the lake all day. Hold on Bojangles just swallowed a couch pillow, be right back. OK, where wasn't I. Beans! their soaked, right. I have been asking around work, interrogating everyone as to how to go about this whole process and the most important advice I received was..........Hold on I need to put on some Frank Sinatra. Remember the movie with Mel Gibson? What Women Want? Sure you do. The idea is to associate beans with Sinatra and it's a recipe for what women want, right? Who could spoil "The Last Dance" with the mention of flatulence? Hold on the beans are making a run for the counter top. Back to my interrogations. So John provides this story from his recollection of a "cookie" as they called cooks on submarines then and now. "What could a little bean do" he says rhetorically. Of course you know the story ends up with beans on a mission to take over the boat. Understanding this I realize I have put 12 cups of beans in a crock pot over night. Don't forget Sinatra. He said luck be a lady. Not luck be a gentleman. To make sure I get the right amount of garlic, I'll put an extra tablespoon full. You can always rinse them I suppose. I'll need to call my grandfather to get more advice. This aught to be good! Scuffle, Scuffle Clink! Bang! OK, let me try one more time. Busy tone. I might have to try in the morning. I heard scuffling with the phone so not sure who won the battle of telephony, 2007. Love you grandma. I figure I'll have to leave the beans as they are for now. Have a good night. I will follow up on the bean fiasco as soon as they are done. May the better bean win.

Home Sweet Home: Green Grass

Once again Jenni has overcome all odds and secured our futures even further. In a proud phone call from my beautiful wife I learned this 21st day of August in the year 2007 that we would have complete ownership of our first home together. Time to break ground on the back yard. GRASS! Sweet green goodness! Tall sturdy blades of grass as far as the eye can see. Between the toes, fresh cut blissfully itchy grass. Go ahead children play, be free, you too Riley poo till your hearts content. Jen, when the kids are away I will meet you in the back yard if you know what I mean. We shall do a little celebrating.

Riley Martin Bojangles O'Sage

Riley gained four pounds since our last visit to the vet. He's strong healthy and loves to get into trouble. I wish I had more time to take him out for training. Maybe we'll get a chance to get out more when the weather cools down. He now has a chip in his neck. Jenni wanted me to get one too but wasn't sure if that would help keep track of me or not.

Rambling

First God my priority as I can not hide whilst thou breath hath been given. My intention becomeing of complete abandonment that which holds me slave. Second my grandparnts meandering through life unknowing of consequent. A mother a faher beget destiny , shall I exsist. A brothers harsh burden, speaking to me, directly, and so we are raised.Mother your heart a champion underpinning goodness. Diversigy, soverne to those who understand. My father my mother, my brothers, my sisters god bless their souls further this alltruistic venture unknown.

Something Someone Said

Time has no relevance a heart enduring. Be lost not in brevetay. Do not let those you call your strength be less than backed by their soulfull intentions. This is our path as my free soul wanders, so real, bleading my soul that you might feel my said quest. Failing, a branch breaks sorrowfully giving, is mine and mine is gods. I have not eaten, to give is to get I have been given. Cherish, melting of sands sunset, mans fears not yet met. Hold true. Stand. Be. free.

Cornerstone

You think she would be used to sending kids off into the world. 5 count em' F-I-V-E, Five children raised right and shuffled into this big, crazy, bustling world each with a rifle and fire starters in their pockets . "You boys keep your finger nails clean and write your mother often" Don't let that beautiful blond thing fool you she's as tough as they come. Careful Doug she has it in her to outlast the best of them. I know that probably makes everyone feel old somehow. I think it's time to stop sending birthday cards to children. That's more like sending thank you cards to your children for pushing you further into your grave. I remember when my mother used to beat me with sticks, leave me locked in a car and forget to feed me for days. No that's obviously not true and in fact the exact opposite is. One of the simpler meals she fed us was macaroni and hot dogs that to this day taste better that anything in the world for the memories they inspire. Yes I said that about a wiener and cheesy elbows. She never beat me, not sure about my brothers though. I think she left that up to us. Is that why we always laughed when she went to swat us for being hooligan's. You can't beat boys that see in it good spirit to beat them-selves. It's funny to hear my mother speak of my grandparents as "Salt of the earth" she would know. But she's of course being modest as usual. I will always look to my mother as the cornerstone of my soul. I can say that. She has been their for me, for all of us, good or bad. I owe her the world and can give her very little in return. For now she will have to be content with that which god gives to good people deserving. Maybe when she's hobbling around with a cane in her hand trying to smack me with it having forgotten who I was. I will be able to give a little back by being there for her when she needs me. You wanna know seriously, the hardest part about growing up? It was avoiding getting in fights with your friends at school because they all talked about what a bombshell your mother is. I'm heading home my ice packs have melted and my yogurt is starting to ferment. Love you Ma! And thanks for giving me so many brothers and sisters to keep me company through out the years. J

Roach Coach Rundevous

Ever had a carne asada burrito delivered to your work place and you had to meet the delivery driver in a back alley to do the transaction? You've seen them before, their official title is Mobile Lunch Truck. Owned by Ralph Colella and operated by his family. I'm not even joking when I say that. I put in a call to his office here in Phoenix looking to compliment him on yet again "One fine taco" and was given his daughters cell phone number. My reasoning was purely a networking opportunity. I figured they must have a website, I sell hosting and my "in" was to solicit the owner with taco grease running down my chin. I'm told by one of the Mobile Lunch Truck Drivers to be referred here after as MLTD's that a Roach Coach can hit a top speed of 60 mph. Only problem with that is natives of Arizona during the summer drive 80 mph. So there pretty much relegated to lurking back alleys and parking lots. By the way the reason Arizonians drive so fast is because they go by an average speed system. If a policeman pulls you over and you mention this you'll get off every time. It works like this. If your here year round your a local and are burdened by slow moving winter visitors (Snow birds) sorry my pc checker was turned on. During the winter a Snowbird will drive around 50mph. If you count the difference between Snowbird 50mph slow down season and the native Arizonian 80mph make up summer season and devide by 2 you end up with the "Arizonian average" 80-50=30 divide by 2 = 15mph, 50+15= the posted speed limit. Another MLTD filled me in on an interesting run in he had with a would be thief. Officially known as the MLTD chorizo burrito bandit. It so happens that after robbing this MLTD's roach coach the burrito incapacitated him soon after with gastrointestinal injuries. The Arizona Snowbird medical response team happened to be driving buy and took him to the Rancho Del Jose Quervo Memorial Hospital. He was later booked on charges of first degree Roach Coach robbery with an aggravated assault charge for brandishing a loaded burrito. Well anyways I guess I'll sweep the post-it notes off my desk and hit the road. Until you crash into me again. J

Conversations becoming of a mullet

Check out http://dailymullet.com/ this is one of my customers blogs. You should all buy domains and point them to your blogs. It only costs $6.50 per year to register a domain and it's also a good way to lock down your name so no one else can use it. How would you like it if your friends Googled you and landed on a p ornsite. That was an intentional misspelling so pervs don't find my blog. No offense for the pervs in my family of course. I kid, that's what I do. If I leave work right now I would be lost in fast flowing river of carbon monoxide, cigarette butts and illegals in wife beaters. That wasn't too pc I'm thinking or not thinking. The idea is to stay until the traffic eases up there by traveling back in time to and from where I didn't start in the last place. Makes perfect sense to me. Our sales team had an interesting conversation about what city's had higher suicide and murder rates. They did a search for the info and deduce that white males are killing themselves only when their not killing others and Tacoma Washington's a happening place to kick-it. Good talk, it's nice to see albeit small, a demographic of American workers taking an interest in social topics.

Thanks Giving

As per the Reeder tradition we are taking the family to Yuma to play in the sand. The Dunes where Star Wars and Stargate were filmed. Hundreds of thousands of sand monkeys meet here every year, for what you ask. All you see for miles is sand, fire, dust, atv's, barbeque's, drag racing and cops. You can see why this would be appealing. Like much of Arizona its some of the last territory in America where your can still behave as if you in the wild west. Come one come all we'll set off some Sobe bombs and catch air on quads. "Stay young or stay away"

Starbucks

It's nice not having a Starbucks on every corner in Arizona. I need gas for my car not stimulant for my brain.

Man Space

I must have spent half my life in a tool shop, garage or shed. No it wasn't because my parents didn't like me. It was just my favorite place to hang out. Whether tinkering with projects or just listening to the radio a true man space is a place to reflect on the days events and unwind. To truly understand the man space you have to have been through the tool shop indoctrination starting out at a young age passing tools to your father, grandfather etc. Once you have the skills to navigate a tool shop you then can look forward to building one of your own. As a young man my man space consisted of leftover plywood and a couple of saw horses. To me this was my whole world for the time I sat in front of that tool bench. If it was already assembled I took it apart. If it was in pieces I put it together. Much to the chagrin of my parents. I learned tool etiquette the hard way. I once left my dads stapler out in the dirt and it rusted. I had to save up and buy him a shiny new one soon after. I ended up with the rusty green one. I used it often and took great care of that old rusty stapler. Still use it to this day. Many of the tools I accumulated were hand-me-downs from man space dwellers before me. Living in smaller apartments and moving as often as I have in the past I had to be creative in the placement of my man space. From closets to attics to cubby holes in walls. Todays man space has become an industry. You can live in your garage now days. Keep your bbq close but keep your wife closer. What?..............

Tool Box, A tools perspective

A prominent talk radio host stated vehemently "It isn't your job to be your your child's friend" This is more clear from the perspective of a child raised by a step parent having turned into a step-father himself. Though not that apparent to an outsider. You are raised by a step-father who doesn't have the bond with you that your biological father might. You are raised with all the components an upbringing would offer accept one, love or so you think. Is it not an awkward affection between males in the first place? Resentment, anger, trust, confusion are just few of the things a younger person is feeling and learning to deal with. This is even harder when you are being raised by someone that you don't know weather to call dad, Mr, or Rick. Biological fathers are often scarce in the hug department. Often a step child won't get a hug from a step father at all. What does this mean? Is it neglect? I don't think so, though it would be nice in a perfect world I don't believe it to be mandatory. As a child I didn't even feel comfortable hugging or calling my step-father dad. Looking back now that I am a father of two step children my self it all makes sense. The day I left home. I hugged him, called him dad on occasion and towards the end said I loved him every time we exchanged hugs. Before this my two older brothers and I would race to our mother for protection against the big bad ogre man-beast who made us do chores, stand-up straight and finish our peas. We would swear it was abuse to work us harder and make us act in a way that our biological father would not. Of course, every other weekends are reserved for propaganda and playtime. If asked how I felt about my step-father up until the age of 16 I would have said id rather be in prison. Was it really that bad, of course not. My brothers and I often speak of the discipline proudly. We bring it up often comparing war stories always loosing to grandpas five mile tromp in the snow or grandmas working two jobs during the war while sick. We speak of it often because we are proud of the way we were raised. Though we couldn't see it then it was these tools placed in our tool box we use often and make us what we are. These tools we use on a daily basis to sculpt not only our own lives but our children's lives.

The Dark Side of the Sun

What a great trip. If your smart you'll stop reading now. Ok, I'm not trying to say your not smart but this is the adventure you try to keep your friends from knowing your offspring are capable of being part of. Who knew this was the truth about someone you knew. A mothers view, "my son would never" Her family and friends "whoa this is ?"
It goes like this: We Get to the desert with a few family friends the dogs are at home being looked after by other family friends. Then the phone disconnects. As it often does beyond Maricopa county. The point of no return comes into play. Here we are low on gas and not enough to turn around and go back. Vultures here look skinnier than on TV. The sun melted into the horizon rapidly, survived only by the deserted facials portrayed unknowingly by our bewildered audience.

Mimicing those people who speak their poetry

I was trying to do one of those rambling type poetry things that you see on tv. Are they called stand up poets? It doesn't mean anything really, more just an experiment. Interesting how words can lead you down a path. Start in a direction and leave something said that you probably didn't even mean. Pretty cool though. Your all getting sunshine for Christmas this year.

Without you!

I have been nowhere. Give me that, shows me somewhere. Read not what makes you other than you are. I am searching for, "my problems are not an issue wright now, those people are" I've been waiting for something from experience thus far. LIFE. What does it all mean, does it matter, DO YOU CARE! This is a derivation of that witch controls a method and allows me to be free spoken. The older I get the more I don't care about what is written. I love life, my wife, and you might even vouch for my dog/soul. Let's break away from this, what are you into? I personally enjoy a Bruce Willis film. This is me you do what you need to do. We all come from all parts of the world. What does it take to make an impression on you? I will sit here until I get a reply or shall I quit, quivering into a quiet me qualm amidst a bothersome nothing.

Good Bye, Say Hi, I need a Hi!